So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
