Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
3pm strippers are depressing
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
