How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
