if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
