Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
