trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
