Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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