I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
