My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
