I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
