i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
