dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
