your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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