And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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