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Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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