There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
