I wish i was in the wii world.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
