nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
