it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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