I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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