Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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