I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
