I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
