i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
