Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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