i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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