dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
