Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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