i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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