Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
