I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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