I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
