Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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