she was so not down for the gang bang
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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