remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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