this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
