New invention idea: vibrating tampons
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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