You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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