Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
false alarm, still single
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
