i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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