Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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