yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
