Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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