My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize