lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
