I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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