I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
