Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hippo gnu deer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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