So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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