Yo dont text me then not text me
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize