I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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