My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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