Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
