Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ROFLCOPTER82 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(863): View more from Florida

Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

Fav 9 1260 2301
share tweet
(925): View more from California

I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

Fav 26 859 3918
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.

(440): View more from Ohio

...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.

(513): View more from Ohio

That was a text you sent me last night.

Fav 36 10406 1454
share tweet
(973): View more from New Jersey

Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.

Fav 22 1742 6574
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?

Fav 6 1196 2939
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.

Fav 5 1664 573
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.

Fav 1 922 553
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.

Fav 0 358 537
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(325): View more from Texas

I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.

Fav 0 56 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT