Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
