i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
