I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
