I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
