Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
