dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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