God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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